The sycamore morning

 ****this is an draft post that was a bit uplifting to read this morning, I no longer live in this apartment but instead closer to the beach surrounded by the wild cats that eat the gophers that invade my organic garden...

Yesterday the bed frame went up, the cats roamed the box riddled apartment climbing to their heart content and we watched a movie on my laptop on our bed. I am so grateful for my bed and I know P is too. It's amazing how our own bed feels the best. I think the cats missed it, too. They were sleeping in it when we left this morning to drop P off to get picked up for work by a kind co-worker.

Our home has this beautiful sycamore tree growing up and over the loft porch. The leaves greeting my car each morning with stark yellow leaves. I wonder what magick properties this tree holds, but I have had a feeling of hope ever since I walked into this place. We never saw this place during the day before we decided to rent it. Why? I just knew, so did P. We were mean to live here in the valley full of goats, foxes, deer, horses, coyotes and the legendary mountain lion. The nature springs, brooks, the organic farm down the street, this is my heaven calling to me. The rain last night washed away the dust and cleansed my soul, not to mention my car. And the sycamore came to mind again, "symbolizes development, perseverance and vitality. They are often able to grow where no other tree can" , according to Morgan Lefay. Maybe I am a sycamore tree, a survivor, a pioneer.

Summer deconstruction

The business of summer is in full swing, vistors flow in and out of my yoga classes while my regulars become less regulary attending my classes go on trips or simply enjoying the sunny weather. The ebb and flow of students as well as ones yoga practice are dufitully linked. Where once the choas of summer overwhelmed me with choices of things to do, to see, to spend my money on...now I wade through this summer storm until the reflection of winter. I remind myself to pace my adventures, to have patience through the rush of the harvest time and to enjoy every moment.

Including the moment when my law-in, my roomates, decided to remodel. The project started as a kitchen cabinet refininshing and become a full-blown kitchen remodel. Each day this project grows with ideas and dismantling of more spaces hallway corners, rewiring in the attic, plumbering,etc. Making a large four bedroom house seem like living in a fishbowl. I am extremely grateful for a room with a bed to sleep in and house my two cats.

Everything is holy now

As I listen to the kritan music flowing into my heart, I am tuning into my true self. Lately, I have been teaching some new classes, family yoga and mom & tot yoga. My silent meditations has been speaking to my love, my motherhood of teacherhood as with yoga especially working with families, empowering mothers pre-motherhood into blessful parenting...the idea of witnessing each person reconnect with a parent, child, lover, sibling or unborn spirit...it is truly beautiful. I feel I am to focus on my family yoga classes, my prenatal classes, and all ages in between....so I can help people reconnect to themselves and the ones they love, the community family.....hmmm, love. I need to come back to the bakati (heart center/love) yoga practice and chanting more hence the new downloads of kritan music:>

May the mothers of the world be blessed, be loved each and everyday. May unconditional love flow freely like the rivers flowing together to the ocean. May you feel the connectiveness, the divine joy as a child of mother earth. This is my gift to you with all my gratutide, namaste.

Surrendering to your higher power

One of my good friends came back to her car only to find it broken into....at our soccer game. Living without attachments within the eight limbs have been personal struggle for me. Watching my friend detach from her cds, massage oils and her laptop, was hard for me to hear. I've been there....when my last car died in Utah and my Saturn wouldn't start a block away from my house. Car have an odd attachment with me, so does jewelry when I misplace something or it finds a new home with someone else. Attachments can cause so much suffering if we buy into the illusion. I buy into it less and less each time something or someone goes in or out of my life. That doesn't mean that the person or object wasn't meaningful in the moment, but the moment is gone to the next chapter if you will.
What or who are you attached to? Make a list. What would you do if they or those objects or feelings died or were taken from you? Do you trust that your are provided all you need within? That the higher power provides you with the strength within to overcome any obstacles.....

Touched by Sufi wisdom & Pandora's Box

Ever since I danced the 21 praises of Tara and met up with B, I have been using "The Sufi Book of Life" to answer my questions regarding my recent life changes. Doubt and fear crept in for a second or two and I just ask the book not for soothing conformation, but more insight into my sufi-dom. I have put out the word that I am looking for some spiritual friends via witchvox and have surprisingly found a Universal Dance of Peace group in SLO to join. I am yearning to make connections with like-minded people in the areas I enjoy: yoga, bellydancing, goddess spirtuality, ritual dancing, knitting, beading, etc.

Last night, I was wrestling with my desire to reconnect with GR, yet now I live even farther away. I am just trusting the Goddess as a bigger picture to this plan, a mystery I can't see.

Sufi & the Goddess

I knew of Sufis, but until I met B the connect between the Goddess and the ideas of Sufis is starting to come together. The principles of Sufism in my mind previously was similar to Christianity just trade the word Jesus with Allah. I realize this is a big generalization...but the reality is both are very patriarchal. The more I read of Sufi texts such as Rumi, the more I wish to meet a goddess woman and sufi teacher.

Dancing Tara's

Moving into the dark times of reflection, I find irony in all of the family gatherings and expections. I recharge in solitude and this season is no different in that single respect. In fact this year P and I will be spending the holidays with both bio-families.

Last weekend I danced the prasies of Tara along with 23 other women and men. The experince was so opening, freeing. I am so grateful to B for putting the word out about the 21 praises of Tara dance. I made many friends in this intense workshop. Ivy is planning on start a local Tara dancing circle in Madison. I hope to partake in this group in the future. Check out the tara dhatu, the organization that keeps the teachings and dances of Tara alive. In the meditation of the dance, I have been moved to start the student-teacher program with possibly of starting and teaching a circle in Minnesota. The depths of Tara are just beginning to unfold before me in my dreams, visions of my divine self.

The 21 Praises of Tara

This most beloved of Tibetan Goddesses is the Protectoress Goddess of Tibet. Her name means The Star, as she is believed to guide her devotees across the ocean of life to enlightenment. The beautiful goddess Tara, (pronounced tah' rah), originated in Indian Hinduism as the Mother Creator, and her many representations spread from Ireland to Indonesia under many different names. In later Hindu scriptures, she is depicted as one of the eight major aspects of the Divine Feminine Principle, a loving manifestation in contrast to the fiercesome Kali. Like a star that perpetually consumes its own energy, Tara represents the never-ending desires that fuel all life. In The Tibetan Lamaist tradition, there are two Taras--the beautiful White Tara and the playful Green Tara.
I have finally decided that she will be the goddess tattoo above the lotus I already have on my back. When I originally had the vision of my tat, I sat Tara with the feel of Kuan Yin. I was a bit confused until I came across the White Tara, who is the compassion, love and wisdom aspect of Tara associated with Kuan Yin.
This next weekend I will be attending the 21 praises of Tara, a dance embodying the great goddess and studying tantric buddhist practice. A public performance to follow the weekend workshop.

Pondering changes

Today, I received the new Cella program books. I had the pleasure to look them over before my yoga classes. I have many questions for J, my advisor. I have so many focuses I hope my electives can be apart of another focus. I like pigbacking or double-tipping requirements. I'll end up doing more than the required activities anyway, I just like the option especially with so many requirement I have to get through in three years...Whoa! I checked out the DePaul University website regarding their graduate programs. I am interested in a distance graduate learning program using the Cella program requires. I plan on connecting Pat M. (professor and goddess woman with RCG-I). I have yet to talk to J. I have been told that J is book touring, but I hope to stay in touch with my goddesswomen friends. I noticed in the manual that as a ritualist focus, I need to be in a leadership role within a successful circle...wow, maybe I will contact B about the RCG-MN circle.
My partner has also been considering going to college for comptuer graphics and gaming. He is actively looking outside of Menards. We have been talking about moving possibly. His friend , S, who is a computer programmer working for Monster.com is looking for an opening for P as a tester. Who knows...maybe we'll be moving to northfield or P will be living with S and home on the weekends.

Good night,

Alysha

Illusions of Beauty

Legacy, my ego!

In my wanderings as of late, the word "legacy" has popped up in conversation with my old friend RG, researching the roots and circles of Dianic Tradition, mainly the differences between Reformed Congregation of the Goddess (founders Lynne & Jade) and Spiral Door/Temple of Diana (Ruth & Falon). I remember teaching my high school students about the idea of leaving a legacy in the 1800's and how our forefathers/mothers wished to keep traditions alive whether the family name by having a son, keeping marriages between the same religious beliefs or race/country origin or handing down a family heirloom. But what does this word really mean?

According to dictionary.com, legacy origin stems from,

"c.1375, "body of persons sent on a mission," from O.Fr. legacie "legate's office," from M.L. legatia, from L. legatus "ambassador, envoy," noun use of pp. of legare "appoint by a last will, send as a legate" (see legate). Sense of "property left by will" appeared in Scot. c.1460."

So a legacy...can be a person, an object(s) like money, jewelry or property and/or a quest. The use of legacy back in the days of King Henry the VIII translated to securing a throne through a male heir that could rule in the Tudor name as well as the riches and wealth. Soldiers were sent to war to leave a family legacy of being a warrior in many cultures. Like I mentioned above, in the early days of settlers in the New World (America), Pilgrims still tried to leave an inheritance for their children (mostly male children), values of the old world culture/religion and a namesake, a son. The word has evolved into something much different -becoming famous or well-known in a field of study. Some people fall into to fame due to their selfless actions and others search out fame and fortune. A key different, yet both struggle with ego and greater responsibilities to society.

So I ask you is leaving your legacy, your mark on this earth feeding your ego or sense of self?.....Each person can only ask this question for themselves.

Back to the legacy of the goddess movement....
A cutting from Ruth's interview with LGBTran zine,"Temple of Diana was founded here in Wisconsin in 2000. And what happened, after I moved here from Los Angeles, after being there for 20 years, it was like okay, I get to start over, in a sense. And first I incorporated under RCG again. And started that. But what became clear to me is the tradition, the Dianic tradition—meaning the legacy of Z Budapest and what I had evolved in southern California, didn’t really have its own 501C3 religious organization. So I realized that that really was the way to go. Because I was very focused on preserving the legacy and preserving the lineage, the teachings, in a certain way. And RCGI is a Goddess spirituality organization. And again, even though there are women who identify as Dianic, it’s not a Dianic organization, per se. So I wanted that. I wanted, I felt like that’s something I can leave behind. And then maybe we can also be an umbrella for other Dianic organizations that have come through that same door. "

And what door would that really be? Well, of course the priestess training program run by Ruth and Falon, called Spiral Door.

So then I wondered, what does Z Budapest think about the idea of legacy? why is Z teachings consider a legacy? Beside the fact Z is the founder of the Dianic Goddess Movement. Well, Z has her coven set up like a beehive system similar to other Wicca covens like the Garderian/Alexandrian sects. The coven has several different levels of study and once a coven member graduates then the graduate is cast out of the mother coven to start her own group. Kicking out a baby bird from the mother nest metaphor. What is Z's mission statement for Dianic tradition?

Dianic University Mission Statement: (from Z's website)
"We believe in bringing together the diverse souls of women from all over the world, to learn and exchange ideas, and to enhance each other. We can widen the collective female imagination through Goddess/Magical studies, connecting peace, work, ecology, freedom, and personal empowerment with happiness. Women united are changing the world for the better."

I personally don't see any difference between Z's mission statement and RCG-I's mission for the Women's Theological Institute (WTI). Each empowers women to find their own goddess self that is feminist and unique. Each organization is loosely structured to allow for future growth and women to define their own spiritual principles.

Well, then what is the definition of "Dianic" because obviously there is some differences, right?

Exactly, kind-of !

"Dianic tradition is difficult to define, because it is a spiritual tradition that encourages creativity, celebrates diversity, and demands personal empowerment and responsibility. For some, Dianic tradition is every day folk religion, hedge-witchery or kitchen-witchery. For others, Dianic tradition is more formal, with highly developed liturgy and cosmology. For most, in its essence Dianic tradition is a Women's Mysteries tradition, linked to such traditions across time and across cultures. They are a celebration of women's bodies, women's experiences, the Divine Feminine, and the biology and culture of womanhood, rather than rejection or dismissal of men and masculinity."(taken from Wikipedia, Dianic Tradition)

Ok... Ruth has created this elaborate "Dianic" tradition based on Z's teachings and others to set her own Dianic Tradition, her own legacy, to pass down to anyone who will pay to train with her and become a dutiful priestess. The Sprial Door (developed by Ruth Barrett & Falon River) Dianic tradition is more formal, structured creating dogmatic Dianic ideals. What I find most interesting is that by the nature of definition of "Dianic" creating rules and systems of celebrating women's diverse personal power, bodies and experiences ....isn't that creating a power-over system within a women's movement and spirituality? Hmm...pondering that for a moment.....

The veil is paper thin between goddess woman and the Dianic tradition as well as ego-driven legacy and carving a path for generations to come....

Queens who stand alone

Watching a movie of about Queen Elizabeth, the idea of courageous women working within society's patriarchy. Taking on the disguise of Mary, the virgin and mother goddess to all, gave Elizabeth I a way to guide her people. Each Queen of her time struggled with how to protect the country's future without tying herself to a man. Take Cleopatra for example, she knew how to snake her way into having a Greek prince heir and seducing the noble hearts. She was trying to preserve her culture and people. And then Queen Nefertiti who with her husband change the Egyptian religious landscape to a single divine god without gender. Although Nefertiti's husband had several wives, she was the people's queen. Too bad Prince Charles had to keep his other wife Camella underwraps until Diana passed. Oh, irony....relationships and politics evolve as the rebels thorny actions and deeds serve.

In the age of the father, woman who reflect goddess move men's hearts, become the living divine. In the age of the daughter, the veil between women and goddess self doesn't exist. We are all goddess women.

Namaste,

Alysha

As the iris buds open in the rain

I think of the goddess Iris when the flowers by her name start opening their purple blossoms. Iris, a messenger for Queen Hera among other god/desses, in the form a rainbow connecting heaven and earth. She escorted the souls of women to the underworld, which is why irises were planted upon woman's graves back in the day of the Greeks.
I have called upon Iris to help me re-establish my connect with WTI Cella of RCG. I am a bit impatient and tending my fairy garden of irises, colombine, yarrow, lilies of the valley, etc, is keeping me focused.

Namaste,

Alysha

The veiled dancer

There was a time when big dramatic ritual was my thing, my calling. I loved designing rituals with layers upon layers of sparkle, glitter and foo-foo-ness. Since I left the core goddess women community in Madison, my ritual has become my yoga practice on the mat. I engage with my divine soul each morning in my daily practice.
There was a time when I wore the veils and embodied the goddess, Bride or Brigit. I spoke of sacrifice and heartache of hiding from the patriarchy.Through my relationship with Brigit, I found my true hearts desire, the mysteries of love and healing. I, to this day, veil myself in her honor and in honor of my sacred dance with she who is. Bellydancing is an art form of my body and a prayer of my soul.

Namaste,

Alysha