The root of suckling attachment :Part One

The past few months I have been moonlighting as a babysitter for a neighbor and yoga student of mine. The child of nine months, Millie, is struggling through a painful teething period and has totally figured out that when I come over and began playing, reading stories, doing baby yoga, I am just a distraction, so mommy can slip out the door to an badly needed acupuncture appointment or into her home office to work. Her reaction is priceless, to cry and scream until.....when she realizes mom isn't home, she surrenders to nap on my chest as I walk around  the house or the neighborhood. The last episode Millie had, I was overcome with the realization of her attachment to her mom and wanting to suckle to comfort her unknown fears. So what do we suckle to comfort our fears? For a baby it is simple, a breast, or bottle becomes a tuk or a special blanket or toy as a child. And then what? A car, a house, a piece of jewelry, a family member...just notice what comes to mind. I am not asking you the give it up or give it away. Just imagine for a moment if that you suckle didn't exist any longer...it was taken by death, or theft...how would you choose to part with it....

Respect my autho-rita(y)!

So here I am again, clocking in then my stress bubbles are brewing around my favorite holiday and irony or not, at the end of the year. P and I are moving this Halloween into a place we can call home and the wishy-washy expectations known as "respect" aren't throw around like MC-57 firing into a crowd of onlookers. Yes, my home life at the in-laws went from plain uncomfortable, but safe to verbally and emotionally abusive. The turn of events was an occurrence surrounding my-laws fears and financial woes. Because we happen to be living in close proximity, we are hit with the direct fire of blame, guilt, and miscommunication. Fear is a serious powerful thing if one lets it rule their lives and I have been watching it prosper in my in-laws. Oddly enough, we understand their situation, and we are not anger with anyone. I just refuse to be the dumping ground, ATM machine or gossip catcher for family. I just don't operate that way.
So I wanted to explore the meaning of "respect", since this loaded word seems to be thrown around alot lately. One of all the sites I've read this morning this one floats my boat and rings some truth home, http://www.eqi.org/respect.htm#What%20Respect%20Is. Check it out. I especially am interested in the relationship of fear & respect, this bit reflects my current situation with my in-laws. How can I explain why I don't want to live in fear anymore?