Well, here I am

The fall cleaning is all around my house, my computer and my transportation. Clearing out the unused clutter (physical, digital, and otherwise) and making move for my creative juices to flow free in my environment. I have realized that I am easily distracted from not only my yoga practice, but my writing. I enjoy cleaning when it is an escape route from another activity. So here I am, finally blogging after a huge sigh of relief when rediscovering a vain of poetry hidden on my backup hard-drive.  Now on to sifting through all of the pieces, find a writing critique group through SLO Night Writers that fits my style. On the graduate school front, I have officially applied at Cuesta Community College and Alan Hancock Community College, to possibly enroll in a creative class Spring semester. Although, a writing/critique group maybe enough to satisfy this need to overcome and weed-out writing advice and ultimately get published. I really dislike the newbie-feeling, but I have always been in the situation where my writing was different, unexpected, misunderstood yet revered. I will learn to navigate through this writers world one way or another, hopeful without sacrificing too many poems along the way.

OmKnits is still a work in progress. With both cars in the family needing repairs, my husband hasn't been able to show me the technical ropes. So Thanksgiving is the next goal date. I will be starting a new blog for the show notes on blogger called omknits. I continuing my blogging adventures here for friends, family and others.

OmKnits on the horizon

I have been thinking about starting a knitting/yoga podcast for over a year. Totally, taking the leap! Currently, I am testing the podcast software, the microphone and the settling with a format. I plan to put out the test podcast in one month and have a podcast every other week. The segments the podcast may include: Intention (the overall theme of the podcast), Ah! Moments, On & Off the Mat (creative practice), Yoga Tip of the Month (Yoga for Everyone), Feeding the Soul (GF recipes, gardeing & food finds), etc.

Decluttering with HP Part II

Oh, yes. De-cluttering my body has been a focus this past year, finally kicking gluten from my diet for good. I truly feel better, more clarity of thought and my moon cycles are less erratic.  I have come across a few lovely books that have inspired my gluten-free cooking (GF). The cookbooks following are my favorites: Cooking for Isaiah, Babycakes, Yogi in the Kitchen, & the Spunky Coconut.

I will be sharing some of my favorite recipes on this blog. Feel free to share your favorite GF recipes with me.

Decluttering with Harry Potter

A second weekend of being a homebody...I have truly been enjoying the mundane simple chores of washing dishes, laundry, organizing, cleaning out unneeded things finding a home for everything. I feel very successful and accomplished. I have realized that it has been a year since I have had this time to clean out my home, my closet, etc. A year? I know. Long overdue for a deep cleaning. Weeding through the clutter that surrounds me is not heartbreaking, but time consuming and uplifting.

A Harry Potter marathon is playing in the background, a great break here and there in between chores. I am reminded about the depth of the yogic idea of "cleanliness" or sauca, meaning purity and cleanliness, the first niyama. Sauca has both an inner and an outer aspect. Outer cleanliness simply means keeping ourselves clean besides taking a shower and personal hygiene. The idea that "cleanliness is next the Godliness" has truth in it. Spring/Fall cleaning, decluttering, feug shui and also relates to the fifth yama, Aparigraha, which means to take only what is necessary, and not to take advantage of a situation or act greedy. If we only take what we have earned; if we take more, we are exploiting someone else. The yogi feels that the collection or hoarding of things implies a lack of faith in God and in himself to provide for his future.  Aparigraha also implies letting go of our attachments to things and an understanding that impermanence and change are the only constants. So bye, bye to items I don't use or will never get around to fixing or no longer need. One's outward cleanliness is said to reflect their inner cleanliness. I do feel lighter in my kitchen when it is clean.  Inner cleanliness has as much to do with the healthy, free functioning of our bodily organs as with the clarity of our mind. Practicing asanas or pranayama are essential means for attending to this inner sauca. Asanas tones the entire body and removes toxins while pranayama cleanses our lungs, oxygenates our blood and purifies our nerves. "But more important than the physical cleansing of the body is the cleansing of the mind of its disturbing emotions like hatred, passion, anger, lust, greed, delusion and pride." I guess I have it backwards...I need to refocus on how to keep my external environment clutter free and my on the clean side of things...so the mind and emotional clutter isn't so easy to hang on to....

the little bellydancer that could....

Sad to say my grandfather passed away last week and I have been working through my grief here in California. Gearing up for an epic performance with the RedC girls for Taste of SLO. Timing of the past weeks events has tested my emotional stamina to the point that I realize my true strength.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

The Why?

I happened to received the dvds The Flowering of Human Consciousness Part I and II, a live lecture of Eckhart Tolle discussing attachment to the ego, labeling, etc. ,  this past week via netflix. These dvds have been sitting on my netflix cue for months, so I was a bit surprised at their timely arrival during my yoga training. Moon, the director of the advanced  500 hr.yoga training, was extremely excited about watching the lecture. Yesterday, Moon, Lisa Jo and I watched in awe digesting the intense information he shared and discussed parts together reflecting on the key points that struck us deeply. One idea that most intrigued us was, allowing yourself to not identify with your name, essentially forgetting who you think you are or want to be...unattaching from the basket of the content of your mind. Not defining your existence based on how you make a living, your hobbies, your children/family, your goals, your knowledge,etc.

Out of our discussion, I related Eckhart's questioning to a childs developmental stages.....Think back for a moment to when you were four or five years old. Do you remember asking they "Why?" for just about everything? This is the moment you started or your children/grandchildren started living from their mind/ego or the little self...we became unconscious, living for the furture..... And living in the moment, surrendering to divine is lost and the suffering begins....really, we don't need to know the answer to the "Why?"(eg like why did this happen to me? Why did this person have to die?etc) because despite the answers or frustration our parents had....there's no answer but to live in the present moment, in your state of consciousness.

The root of suckling attachment :Part One

The past few months I have been moonlighting as a babysitter for a neighbor and yoga student of mine. The child of nine months, Millie, is struggling through a painful teething period and has totally figured out that when I come over and began playing, reading stories, doing baby yoga, I am just a distraction, so mommy can slip out the door to an badly needed acupuncture appointment or into her home office to work. Her reaction is priceless, to cry and scream until.....when she realizes mom isn't home, she surrenders to nap on my chest as I walk around  the house or the neighborhood. The last episode Millie had, I was overcome with the realization of her attachment to her mom and wanting to suckle to comfort her unknown fears. So what do we suckle to comfort our fears? For a baby it is simple, a breast, or bottle becomes a tuk or a special blanket or toy as a child. And then what? A car, a house, a piece of jewelry, a family member...just notice what comes to mind. I am not asking you the give it up or give it away. Just imagine for a moment if that you suckle didn't exist any longer...it was taken by death, or theft...how would you choose to part with it....

The sycamore morning

 ****this is an draft post that was a bit uplifting to read this morning, I no longer live in this apartment but instead closer to the beach surrounded by the wild cats that eat the gophers that invade my organic garden...

Yesterday the bed frame went up, the cats roamed the box riddled apartment climbing to their heart content and we watched a movie on my laptop on our bed. I am so grateful for my bed and I know P is too. It's amazing how our own bed feels the best. I think the cats missed it, too. They were sleeping in it when we left this morning to drop P off to get picked up for work by a kind co-worker.

Our home has this beautiful sycamore tree growing up and over the loft porch. The leaves greeting my car each morning with stark yellow leaves. I wonder what magick properties this tree holds, but I have had a feeling of hope ever since I walked into this place. We never saw this place during the day before we decided to rent it. Why? I just knew, so did P. We were mean to live here in the valley full of goats, foxes, deer, horses, coyotes and the legendary mountain lion. The nature springs, brooks, the organic farm down the street, this is my heaven calling to me. The rain last night washed away the dust and cleansed my soul, not to mention my car. And the sycamore came to mind again, "symbolizes development, perseverance and vitality. They are often able to grow where no other tree can" , according to Morgan Lefay. Maybe I am a sycamore tree, a survivor, a pioneer.

The silence is broken: An Update

I'm back to chat/blog my way through my existence. Regrouping for the next two months of the second module of  500 hr. advanced yoga teacher training. I have some homework to turn in. A brief paper on the Gita, well, not the whole thing! More like a study guide or outline questions and insights. The advanced pranayama (breathwork) hasn't quite become ritual, yet almost daily...I have had a few missed days...I am scheduled to receive a personal mantra for meditation and plan to use this mantra while I knit one item just to test a little theory of mine...can you guess what a knitted garment would feel like if its intention and hours of creation were devoted to a single  mantra of peace, love, abundance, ect.(not to mention the benefits of the practice the knitter would receive in the process) Imagine it...I been dreaming about it......
One way to blend my practices together...:>

So my next project on raverly....om knit.

the witch bottle

The ride of spiritual life seems to be coming around full circle...I find myself reconnecting with my pagan spiritual roots and devising a witch's bottle to deflect the negative thoughts, feelings, evil eye and so on from my life. Maybe I am superstitious....or maybe the symbolism of my intentions is just what my visual learning brain needs. Either way, I am drawn to this folk tradition that I prescribed to over a decade ago...warding away bad "stuff" from my dorm room closet.
There are many recipes and scientific evidence what to put inside these bottles, yet I prefer to go with my intuition or my magick....mensuration blood, herbs from my garden, soil from MN, pins, needles, nails, a bit of hair...seal it with some wax. Maybe even a piece of bread...gluten tolerence joke...

Yes, I have been recently tested for gluten intolerence and I am now a gluten-free girl (Well, so is my partner, too) More gluten adventures..later

Home sweet home

Living in Huasna has been a wonderful fanstasy of wildlife, a meditative energitic nexeus for us to live within. P and I are moving closer to town to the peaceful reservation of Halcyon. A yogi is renting her cottage to us. Even though it is small, the place is a mighty life saver on our wallet not to mention our collective carbon footprint. We will be selling one of our cars to buy bikes and a bike rack for a major source of transportation. Our landlady is even open to us having a garden....we are very excited for the work ahead of is great, but we will survive. Pat is going to college at Cuesta this summer and I am starting a Yoga Tree Kids: Yoga & Arts Camp this summer, too. Lots of new adventures have found their way into our lives. Stay tuned...

Happy Witchy New Year!

Today is the first day of my independent life in California with my patchwork family of friends and co-workers. I am content with the boxes that surround me in my loft apartment just because it is my bit of country. I saw a fox this morning playing with some squirrels in and among my landowners goats. Wild turkeys welcomed me into town as I followed P in the moving truck. I am reconnecting to my mother, mother earth and my brothers and sisters. Witnessing the sun rise within the foggy clouds spotted with blue sky filled me with a sense of peace I have never known.

Respect my autho-rita(y)!

So here I am again, clocking in then my stress bubbles are brewing around my favorite holiday and irony or not, at the end of the year. P and I are moving this Halloween into a place we can call home and the wishy-washy expectations known as "respect" aren't throw around like MC-57 firing into a crowd of onlookers. Yes, my home life at the in-laws went from plain uncomfortable, but safe to verbally and emotionally abusive. The turn of events was an occurrence surrounding my-laws fears and financial woes. Because we happen to be living in close proximity, we are hit with the direct fire of blame, guilt, and miscommunication. Fear is a serious powerful thing if one lets it rule their lives and I have been watching it prosper in my in-laws. Oddly enough, we understand their situation, and we are not anger with anyone. I just refuse to be the dumping ground, ATM machine or gossip catcher for family. I just don't operate that way.
So I wanted to explore the meaning of "respect", since this loaded word seems to be thrown around alot lately. One of all the sites I've read this morning this one floats my boat and rings some truth home, http://www.eqi.org/respect.htm#What%20Respect%20Is. Check it out. I especially am interested in the relationship of fear & respect, this bit reflects my current situation with my in-laws. How can I explain why I don't want to live in fear anymore?

Once upon a virgin

So I recently, started reconnecting with an old flame, my high school sweetheart, via email. A little catching up about the family, I did date the boy for almost three year, kind-of my best friend and all. It's nice to know after I broke his heart that he is happily married and expecting a child now.

Back in the day, I vowed to stay a virgin until I was married and unfortunately, I fell in love really hard. I stayed a virgin, Travis respected me and I respected him. Although, when one person hurts another they love all bets are off. I allowed my ideals rule my emotions and hold me back from losing my virginity to my first love as he tried to make out with me when he had a girlfriend. Do I regret that decision? No, I had sense.

This may explain the dream vision I had last night about Travis. I dreamt that I and him joined together energetically like psychic sex that we had as a young couple. Every full moon and other evening we would meet in a dream and be together, become one person explore our divine-ness of light. After we broke up, we psychically kept track of one another, watching from a distance. I wanted to ask him if he had "the dream" last night if he even remembered.

I haven't been to that plane of existence in awhile....reconnecting love.

Today I want to give birth.....

Maybe its just the anticipation of the arrival of my niece or my partner's cousin who just found out she's pregnant with her second or watching the movie knocked-up last night. Today I want to start a family...It's crazy I know. I am still living with my in-laws, my partner is still trying to land a full-time job and plans on going back to school. Financially, we are in no position to try...Not to mention the fact that I vowed to get to Thailand and India BEFORE setting down. I have to admit....today, I am not sure if I am trusting the universe by noticing the baby theme around me or maybe I am just feeling the pressure from my family and society to give birth.

When I left Minnesota, I decided to let go of my beautiful home and the idea of setting down like my parents did. I let go of the idea I had to have children in order to be a family with my partner. I really wanted to see the world and love the kids around me because the best parents I had were the people/parental figures around me who inspired me, not the parents who give birth to me. Don't get me wrong I love my parents, I am grateful everyday for their hard work in raising me. I just believe that it take a village to raise a child and I try to be apart of that village for my nieces and nephews as I was for my students. In fact, one of the reasons we stayed in Minnesota so long was, my nephew J, looked up to P and I as his normal stable parents.

Do I have a village to help me? Like I help others....Not too sure. Maybe that's why I want to move to Madison so badly. A small bit of fear is there lurking that I can't have a child now because of this or that and I can't wait because I might wait too long. The "what if 's" creep in....Yet I know deep inside that when the time is right, I will know and rise to the challenge of birthing a physical child not just the idea children I have right now.

I am not sure how I truly feel overall, but I do know this.....today I give birth to ideas, and maybe there is never the right time to have a physical child, but I will use my will to create a situation in which supporting another human being into this world is possible. And if I trust fully the people who "Morrigan" needs, they will rise up to create a village for her, too.

Summer deconstruction

The business of summer is in full swing, vistors flow in and out of my yoga classes while my regulars become less regulary attending my classes go on trips or simply enjoying the sunny weather. The ebb and flow of students as well as ones yoga practice are dufitully linked. Where once the choas of summer overwhelmed me with choices of things to do, to see, to spend my money on...now I wade through this summer storm until the reflection of winter. I remind myself to pace my adventures, to have patience through the rush of the harvest time and to enjoy every moment.

Including the moment when my law-in, my roomates, decided to remodel. The project started as a kitchen cabinet refininshing and become a full-blown kitchen remodel. Each day this project grows with ideas and dismantling of more spaces hallway corners, rewiring in the attic, plumbering,etc. Making a large four bedroom house seem like living in a fishbowl. I am extremely grateful for a room with a bed to sleep in and house my two cats.

Ok, so my silence has been here, but louder than ever in my life. My partner is with me in Cali without a job still....I am trying to be relaxed about the whole situation, but my patience is really being tested. Who knew this town was so small that without local connections one can land an review or a job. I am trying to whipped up spells to help the energies along with the house to sale, P to get a job, and an affordable apartment/house in the area. I feel like my energy is spread thin, but I am trying some candle magic along with the divination I have been using.

Meanwhile, I am totally hankering to dance at a powwow and work on my tradecloth outfit as well as beadwork. Unfortualy, the beadwork will have to wait until the storage unit can be looked through...there are only a few powwows in the area each year. I am planning on dancing at the Chumash Powwow in early October. Maybe the only northern tradish dancer there!

Everything is holy now

As I listen to the kritan music flowing into my heart, I am tuning into my true self. Lately, I have been teaching some new classes, family yoga and mom & tot yoga. My silent meditations has been speaking to my love, my motherhood of teacherhood as with yoga especially working with families, empowering mothers pre-motherhood into blessful parenting...the idea of witnessing each person reconnect with a parent, child, lover, sibling or unborn spirit...it is truly beautiful. I feel I am to focus on my family yoga classes, my prenatal classes, and all ages in between....so I can help people reconnect to themselves and the ones they love, the community family.....hmmm, love. I need to come back to the bakati (heart center/love) yoga practice and chanting more hence the new downloads of kritan music:>

May the mothers of the world be blessed, be loved each and everyday. May unconditional love flow freely like the rivers flowing together to the ocean. May you feel the connectiveness, the divine joy as a child of mother earth. This is my gift to you with all my gratutide, namaste.

The pulling moon, the tides and my flow.

Yes. I am talking about my menstrual cycle. After the numerous, dreams about the human consciousness awakening...I are noticed that my cycle is changing. I always called it " I'm in the fullest of my moon" and now my lunar cycle is matching the lunar cycle of my grandmother moon. As the earth is changing, I am changing with her, with the tides, with grandmother moon and grandfather sun. Its changing...the herbs I once took to ease my flow are not as helpful...the imbalance I feel in my body. I wonder if I am detoxing Mother Earth, too as well as my own body. I am seeing more visions now then ever before....just flowing into my life, a spring tide.

Blessed I am...

Today I woke up with the need to reconnect with those friends and colleagues who have been wondering where I am and how the move has been. In the midst of reconnecting, I realized my gratitude toward each and everyone of these people. All of whom support me and my blossoming service to others in the wellness industry.

• Jade, the faithful founder of RCG-I
• Rebecca, my shadow from MN who is following her own path in AZ
• Sally Jo, my new cella advisor
• Ger, the art teacher who can't stop having kids (on number 5!)
• Grace, the Birdwing staffer who is following in my Thai massage foot steps
• Linda, the Birdwing Spa "mom"
• RG , the mother I never forgot
• Renee, my country penpal in MN from the tea gang
• Heather, my adopted English Grandmother who taught me the real meaning of karma yoga
• the whole tea gang....I am sipping tea in your honor its Friday!

Today my new office friend donated to me two bags full to louging clothes, I am so blessed!