After reading chapter four from Deepak Chopra's book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga, the law of pure potentiality took me back a few springs ago when I was sifting through the aftermath of my divorce. The worthlessness and regret I had for spending "the best years of my youth" in a loveless marriage. While I was searching for the reasons I chose that lesson path, I started creating a potential altar that contained baby pictures with a variety of family members. This altar hung right by my bedroom door to remind me of the potential I still had within me each time I left to start a new day. My mantra was advice a goddesswoman elder once told me, "Allow yourself to listen and change can happen." She listened to her true spirit at 80 years, opened to her homosexuality and is currently in a healthy relationship with her partner. By witnessing her mindfulness and awareness as a golden crone, I realized that my potential isn't tied to an age or an era. My potential is rather my true spirit free from ego, control, and family/society expectations.
I have freed myself from the fear of unconditional love and financial independence. I have let love into my life. Now the altar I created as a way to heal from loss has become my Saturn return altar as I try to prepare for the potential child (whether a literal or figuritive birth) I could bring into this world. And a reminder of how far I have come and the dhamra or purpose in life I have yet to discover.
Namaste & Goddess Bless
Alysha
2 comments:
I'd like to hear more about this divorce and how you have delt with it. I've gone through something similar, but I'm having a hard time reconciling. Tell me about your previous marraige, if you don't mind.
-Kayle
I had all sorts of weird ideas about marriage and what love was. I realized that my fears of uncondtional love, finincal independence and unconventional success/career structured my former whacky ideals of marriage and relationships. I separated from him as soon as I got enough guts to tear apart my world, so I could rebuild my life from the ground up. I haven't spoken to my ex since the split. I have forgiven him and more importantly, myself for the suffering I caused. I truly wish him well and hope he finds his own happiness. I am grateful for the lessons I learned from the whole experience.
Namste,
Alysha
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